This is a crab.
He says "Hi. Thanks for visiting this page. I hope you'll be interested in the things to the left, because I am." And really, how can you say no to a crab?
I am sorry that this web site is sort of bad, what with the ads and the lack of integration in page style when you click on internal links (which I highly recommend) and all.
Someday when I have nothing better to do, I'll make it pretty and move it over to WSO or something.